Sleepovers

Question: 

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

I would like to know what Islam says with regards to sleepovers of young children (boys and girls) with their grandparents and aunts and uncles. Is it encouraged? I have reservations as I have had situations in my family with regards to respect of young girls.

Kindly advise as I am constantly faced with this situation with my kids.

Answer: 

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

One should not generalize any situation. Therefore, do not harbour any suspicions or ill-thoughts about anyone.

Having said that, one should nevertheless exercise the highest level of caution, especially with respect to daughters. Daughters should always be in the company of their mothers. The reality is that nowadays, from a very young age, children are in a state of heightened awareness regarding intimate matters. There are many young people (some as young as 13) who have sought help to get out of complicated situations after becoming intimately involved with first cousins, etc.

Therefore, such sleepovers, without parental supervision, should generally be avoided. At the very least, they are extremely unhealthy. The sleepovers that are totally safe and free from danger are very much in the minority. One must therefore remain cautious.

You should also read the book “Removing the safety net” by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullahi ‘alaih).

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama