​Beauty parlours 

Q: Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to leave her home in order to go to a beauty parlour or salon to style her hair or wax the hair on her body? What is the Shar’ee ruling in regard to this issue?
A: In Deen, the most important obligation after Imaan is salaah. In regard to this obligation, the Hadith emphatically encourages women to perform their salaah within the confines of their homes. In fact, the Hadith explains that the salaah which they perform in the innermost portion of their homes- most distant from the gazes of strange men- is more rewarding than the salaah which they perform in any other part of their home. This clearly highlights the extent to which Islam advocates concealment in the life of a woman.

When women have been discouraged from leaving their homes to perform salaah in the Musjid (despite salaah being the greatest ibaadat and the Musjid being the holiest of places in the world), one can well imagine how reprehensible it is for a woman to leave her home to visit a beauty parlour or salon in order to beautify herself. It should be borne in mind that if there is a valid need for a woman to leave the home (e.g. to visit her parents or relatives, or to visit the sick, or to console the bereaved, etc.) then Shariah has granted her permission to do so in order to fulfil the need, provided that she adheres to certain conditions.  When leaving the home, she should ensure that she dresses in an unattractive manner and that she dons the niqaab. Similarly, she should refrain from applying any perfume when leaving the home and she should be accompanied by her mahram wherever she goes.

It is reported in the Hadith that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

المرأة عورة فإذا خرجت استشرفها الشيطان

“A woman should remain concealed (from the eyes of strange men). When she leaves her home, shaytaan stares at her” (Tirmizi #1173).

In another Hadith, it is reported that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “May the curse of Allah Ta’ala be upon the man who casts lustful glances at the beauty of a woman, as well as the woman who is viewed (the woman who reveals her beauty, allowing strange men to view her)” (Shu’abul Imaan #7399). From these two Ahaadith, we understand the need for women to remain within their homes. When they leave the home, shaytaan makes a concerted effort to mislead them and mislead others through them.

In regard to women applying perfume when leaving the home, it is reported that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “The woman who applies perfume when leaving the home and passes by a group of strange men, allowing them to get the fragrance of her body, is like an adulteress” (Tirmizi #2786). Hazrat Abu Hurayrah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) had once seen a woman who had left her home with perfume applied to her body. He immediately reprimanded her and commanded her to return to her home and wash off the perfume (Abu Dawood #4176).

It should be known that the concept of a beauty parlour is alien to Islam. Beauty parlours neither existed during the blessed era of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) nor during the centuries that followed. This concept has been adopted from western culture. Unfortunately, in current times, let alone this becoming a “profession”, it has now become a thriving industry, bringing in its wake a host of wrongs and evils. This in turn has led to the degeneration of hayaa and modesty in the ummah. Nowadays, women beautify and adorn themselves when leaving the home, only to be viewed by others, whereas Islam has commanded that their beauty only be displayed before their spouses within the confines of the home.

Apart from this, the abundant wrongs that are associated with such an occupation go against the very fabric of shame and modesty. The satar (area between the navel and the knees) is exposed with the intention of hair removal, whereas exposing this part of the body before even Muslim women is haraam. In the case where the beautician is a non-Muslim woman, then let alone exposing the satar area before her, it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to reveal her hair or any part of her body before her (with the exception of her face, hands and feet). When the Hadith has cursed women who shape their eyebrows, one can well imagine the extent to which one will incur Allah Ta’ala’s curse through exposing one’s body for such purposes. Even if one has to argue that one is only visiting the beautician for something that is of a permissible nature, the fact of the matter is that one is present in a place which abounds with immoral and immodest activities, such as the satar being exposed for the purpose of hair removal, the eyebrows being shaped, the hair of women being cut or trimmed and also being exposed before non-Muslim women, etc. It is the command of Allah Ta’ala that we stay far from all places where sins are perpetrated. With regard to being present is such places where the commands of Allah Ta’ala are violated, Allah Ta’ala declares in the Qur’an:

فَلا تَقعُد بَعدَ الذِّكرى مَعَ القَومِ الظّـلِمينَ ﴿٦٨﴾

Do not sit, after realizing (that one is in an environment of haraam), with those who do wrong. (Surah An’aam, 68)

Furthermore, when this is an environment which draws the wrath of Allah Ta’ala, then it is most likely that the wrath of Allah Ta’ala will fall upon all those who are present in that environment, regardless of whether they are involved in the sins and wrongs or not. Similarly, we should deeply reflect and ponder over the point that if death had to strike at that moment, would we be happy to meet Allah Ta’ala in such a condition?

While the various evils and harms in general have been discussed above, the issue is extremely compounded in the case where the beautician is a male. It is an act of utter shamelessness. He is going to be free to style her hair and touch various parts of her body. His job is to adorn and beautify so that the woman looks more attractive than what she is and so that she will be admired. In the process, he too will keep looking and admiring the woman he is beautifying – In other words, he will be busy intently admiring someone’s wife or daughter at very close range – from such closeness that perhaps besides the husband, nobody else will get so close!! He perhaps will also keep touching here and patting there to get the perfect look – Lahawla wala quwwata illa billah.  This is the glaring indication of the death of shame. It is also a sure recipe to invite the wrath and curse of Allah Ta’ala – curse upon curse at every “admiring” look, both upon the admiring male beautician as well as the woman who has exposed herself to be admired.

We should understand that women, throughout the past, were always adorning themselves for their spouses. However, they fulfilled their halaal needs while remaining within the confines of their homes. May Allah Ta’ala bless us with the tawfeeq of emulating the Mubaarak Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) in all facets of our lives.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

عن أبي أحوص عن عبد الله عن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم قال المرأة عورة فإذا خرجت استشرفها الشيطان (ترمذي رقم 1173)
عن الحسن قال وبلغني أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لعن الله الناظر والمنظور إليه (شعب الإيمان رقم 7399)
عن أبي موسى عن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم قال كل عين زانية والمرأة إذا استعطرت فمرت بالمجلس فهي كذا وكذا يعني زانية (ترمذي رقم 2786)
عن أبى هريرة قال لقيته امرأة وجد منها ريح الطيب ينفح ولذيلها إعصار فقال يا أمة الجبار جئت من المسجد قالت نعم. قال وله تطيبت قالت نعم. قال إنى سمعت حبى أبا القاسم -صلى الله عليه وسلم- يقول لا تقبل صلاة لامرأة تطيبت لهذا المسجد حتى ترجع فتغتسل غسلها من الجنابة قال أبو داود الإعصار غبار (أبو داود رقم 4176)
(و) ينظر (من الأجنبية) ولو كافرة مجتبى (إلى وجهها وكفيها فقط) للضرورة قيل والقدم والذراع إذا أجرت نفسها للخبز تتارخانية (وعبدها كالأجنبي معها) فينظر لوجهها وكفيها فقط. نعم يدخل عليها بلا إذنها إجماعا، ولا يسافر بها إجماعا خلاصة وعند الشافعي ومالك ينظر كمحرمه (فإن خاف الشهوة) أو شك (امتنع نظره إلى وجهها) فحل النظر مقيد بعدم الشهوة وإلا فحرام وهذا في زمانهم، وأما في زماننا فمنع من الشابة قهستاني وغيره (إلا) النظر لا المس (لحاجة) كقاض وشاهد يحكم (ويشهد عليها) لف ونشر مرتب لا لتتحمل الشهادة في الأصح (وكذا مريد نكاحها) ولو عن شهوة بنية السنة لا قضاء الشهوة (وشرائها ومداواتها ينظر) الطبيب (إلى موضع مرضها بقدر الضرورة) إذ الضرورات تتقدر بقدرها وكذا نظر قابلة وختان وينبغي أن يعلم امرأة تداويها لأن نظر الجنس إلى الجنس أخف (وتنظر المرأة المسلمة من المرأة كالرجل من الرجل) وقيل كالرجل لمحرمه والأول أصح سراج (وكذا) تنظر المرأة (من الرجل) كنظر الرجل للرجل (إن أمنت شهوتها) فلو لم تأمن أو خافت أو شكت حرم استحسانا كالرجل هو الصحيح في الفصلين تتارخانية معزيا للمضمرات (والذمية كالرجل الأجنبي في الأصح فلا تنظر إلى بدن المسلمة) مجتبى (الدر المختار 6/369)
Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

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​Salaam – Rulings and Etiquettes 

The following are some important rulings and etiquettes pertaining to salaam:
1. It is waajib (obligatory) to reply to the salaam which is written in a letter, email, text message, etc. The reply may be given verbally or in writing.

2. A person who is involved in a conversation or is engaged in some work should not be greeted.

3. It is makrooh to make salaam to a person who is engaged in a deeni activity e.g. reciting the Quraan Majeed, making zikr or du‘aa.

4. It is makrooh to make salaam to a person who is engaged in a natural activity e.g. eating.

5. If one agrees to convey salaams to a certain person, it will be necessary to fulfill the responsibility and convey the greeting. Hence, if one is asked to convey salaams but does not wish that the responsibility become necessary, he should merely say, “I will try” or “insha-Allah”.

6. When writing the salaam, one should refrain from using abbreviations such as ‘slmz’. Rather, the salaam should be written out in full. 

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​The Great Rewards of Seeking Deeni Knowledge

وعن عمر رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم ما اكتسب مكتسب مثل فضل علم يهدي صاحبه إلى هدى أو يرده عن ردى وما استقام دينه حتى يستقيم عمله رواه الطبراني في الكبير واللفظ له والصغير إلا أنه قال فيه حتى يستقيم عقله وإسنادهما متقارب (الترغيب والترهيب 1/124)

Hazrat Umar (Radhiyallahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “A person cannot earn rewards (through any nafl ibaadat) as much as he can earn through acquiring Deeni knowledge, which will be a means of guiding him towards the path of hidaayat (guidance) or prevent him from wrong. And one’s Deen will never be straight (and perfect) until his actions are consistent (i.e. his Deen will never gain perfection until and unless he does not acquire istiqaamat in carrying out righteous actions in accordance to the sunnah in all facets of his life).”

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KEEPING DEATH IN MIND AT ALL TIMES

Muhammad ibn Al Mutawakkil (rahimahullah) says, 

“It has reached me that the words:

*كفى بالموت واعظاً يا عمر*

*‘Death is enough as an admonisher, O Umar’* 

were engraved on the ring of Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu)”

(Kitabud Dibaj)

hadithanswers.com

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​Recreation within Limits 

Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) narrates:
I once went with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) on one of his journeys when I was still a young girl and light in weight. During the journey, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) saying, “Proceed ahead.” After the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) had proceeded ahead (and we were now in seclusion), Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said to me, “Come! Let me race with you!” We therefore raced and I beat the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) in the race. On this occasion, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) did not say anything.

Some time later, when I picked up some weight, and I had forgotten (the previous race), I went with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) on one of his journeys. During the journey, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) saying, “Proceed ahead.” After they had proceeded ahead (and we were in seclusion), Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said to me, “Come! Let me race with you!” We therefore raced and Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) beat me. On beating me, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) began to smile and said, “This is in return for that (i.e. I beat you on this occasion, whereas you beat me on the previous occasion).” (Musnad Ahmad #26277)  

Lessons:

1. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) had no need for racing and other forms of recreation. Hence, one of the reasons for which Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) engaged in racing on this occasion was to show the Ummah that recreation, provided that it is in moderation and kept within the parameters of Deen, is allowed in Islam.

2. When our respected mother, ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha), raced with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), it was done in complete privacy and seclusion, thereby maintaining the highest levels of hayaa and hijaab and not violating any command of Allah Ta‘ala in the process. It is thus clear that before engaging in recreation, be it in the form of exercising, cycling, swimming, etc., it is necessary for us to first ensure that no law of Allah Ta‘ala will be broken. If the activity will inevitably lead to the law of Allah Ta‘ala being broken then the activity will have to be abandoned. Similarly, when going on holiday, care and precaution has to be taken to ensure that we do not go to places which are not in keeping with the demands of hayaa.

3. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) bore a responsibility to which no other responsibility can possibly compare in importance and the dedication required – the responsibility of imparting Deen to the Ummah. Despite this grave responsibility, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) made the time for his respected family, ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha), and ensured that he gave her attention and quality time. Unfortunately, there are many people who become so obsessed with recreation and entertainment that over and above neglecting the rights of Allah Ta‘ala,  they neglect the rights of their wives and children and fail to give them adequate quality time.

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Incident Moulana Yusuf Ludhyanwi Saheb (RA) 

​I [Sheikhul Hadith Hadhrat Moulana Yusuf Motala Saheb (db)] have always repeated the scenario regarding Hadhrat Moulana Yusuf Ludhyanwi Saheb (ra) when he arrived in England, and when we were preparing the book ‘Hadhrat Sheikh [Zakariya] and His Disciples.’ 

I was reading those letters addressed to me [from Hadhrat Sheikh Zakariya], and when I got to the part where I had written to Hadhrat that, 

‘The perpetrators, who had burgled Zakariya Masjid in Bolton and had set fire to it, had all been caught!’  

I had written [details of the incident] to Hadhrat after a lengthy period, and Hadhrat had replied,

“You have expressed pleasure about the perpetrators’ arrests – this shouldn’t be the case, as this issue is very sensitive.” 

We have a tendency to celebrate that, ‘criminals have been caught!’ 

When I related this [Hadhrat Sheikh’s reply] I still remember the scenario of Moulana Yusuf Ludhyanwi Saheb (ra) clearly – he immediately stood up with his glasses and pen still in his hands […] started shouting whilst weeping,

“This statement could have only been uttered by a Qutub!” […]

We are also criminals and to what extent [?] Thieves in Namaz, thieves whilst in the state of Namaz, thieves in all the gatherings [Majlis], thieves whilst sitting inside the Masjid, thieves with our gazes – our habits are filled with criminal traits!      

Extract taken from ‘Jamaal-e-Muhammady, Jabal-e-Noor par.’ (Urdu) Pages 611/612. By Sheikhul Hadith Hadhrat Moulana Yusuf Motala Saheb (db)

Received from the Khanqah Maseehiyyah Group

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​Sunnats and Aadaab of Sitting in a Deeni Discourse 

Part 2 

1. The primary purpose for one participating in a Deeni discourse is for one to correct and reform himself and to acquire the knowledge of the sunnah (i.e. the mubaarak lifestyle of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)).

2. One should consider the Deeni discourse as a means of spiritual medication and consider it to be directed to oneself.

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​THE ROAD FOR THE SEEKER

(Part 14 Continued)
RIGHTS OF CREATION

Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Maseehullah Khan Sahib رحمه الله says that Huqooqul ‘ibaad (Rights of Creation) are more important than Huqooqullāh (Rights of Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله) in terms of compensation. This importance can be gauged from the following: A Mu’min is obligated to another person for the mere sum of three paisa (this is less than one SA cent!). The Mu’min has neither repaid the sum, nor has he asked to be pardoned due to his inability to pay. On the Day of Qiyāmah, seven hundred ACCEPTED SALAAH of the Mu’min will be given to the creditor in lieu of the unfulfilled debt of three paisa. Just think! Is three paisa of any real value? On the other hand, what is the value of Salaah?

 الله اكبر! 

And seven hundred Salaah?

الله اكبر!

And such Salaah which have been accepted? All to be given to the creditor!

Hazratjee رحمه الله further explains that to what extent is this Haqq (right) not being deliberately transgressed nowadays. Houses are being taken away unjustly; land is wrongly snatched away; wealth is usurped – are we not becoming wretched destitutes in the Aakhirah?

Another fine point which has been shared by Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Farooq Sahib رحمه الله is the aspect when a debtor takes extra time to pay; Hazrat says that many fall prey to this deception that the mere payment of the debt absolves one of the responsibility whereas extra time was taken to pay. Have the debtors sought forgiveness from the creditor for the extra time taken? Have we not inconvenienced the creditor?  This is Huqooqul ‘ibaad and we will be questioned about this on the Day of Qiyāmah. 

We have another scenario where ladies are negligent in keeping the utensils or dishes of other households. They ‘conveniently’ just keep the utensils and use them without permission. This is sinful and impacts upon Huqooqul’ibaad.

Unfortunately, the aspect of clear dealings is not afforded any importance in our temperaments today and we unwittingly compromise our Aakhirah. 

May Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله guide us towards maintaining clear dealings which are among the outstanding characteristics of the believers.

آمين يارب العالمين

Hafez Qaasim Paruk Saab Hafizahullah

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Why the iPad is a far bigger threat to our children than anyone realises

Ten years ago, psychologist SUE PALMER predicted the toxic effects of social media. Now she sees a worrying new danger…

  • Sue Palmer is a psychologist who realised how dangerous technology could be to young children
  • She’s shocked about how even the tiniest have become slaves to screens 
  • Excessive screen-time can lead to obesity, aggression and depression

When the little girl pointed at the sweets at the checkout, her mother said: ‘No, they’re bad for your teeth.’ So her daughter, who was no more than two, did what small children often do at such times. She threw a tantrum.

What happened next horrified me. The embarrassed mother found her iPad in her bag and thrust it into her daughter’s hands. Peace was restored immediately.

This incident, which happened three years ago, was the first time I saw a tablet computer used as a pacifier. It certainly wasn’t the last. Since then, I’ve seen many tiny children barely able to toddle yet expertly swiping an iPad – not to mention countless teenagers, smartphone in hand, lost to the real world as they tap out texts.

Sue Palmer, a psychologist, has seen countless toddlers who can barely walk swiping at screens (stock photo)

It’s ten years since the publication of my book, Toxic Childhood, which warned of the dangers of too much screen-time on young people’s physical and mental health.

My fears have been realised. Though I was one of the first to foresee how insidiously technology would penetrate youngsters’ lives, even I’ve been stunned at how quickly even the tiniest have become slaves to screens – and how utterly older ones are defined by their virtual personas.

Indeed, when my book came out, Facebook had just hit our shores and we were more concerned with violent video games and children watching too much TV. Seems like ancient history, doesn’t it?

Today, on average, children spend five to six hours a day staring at screens. And they’re often on two or more screens at once – for example, watching TV while playing on an iPad.

Because technology moves so fast, and children have embraced it so quickly, it’s been difficult for parents to control it. And when it comes to spending a childhood in front of a screen, this generation are like lab rats. The long-term impact is not known.

Even before iPads hit the market in 2010, experts were warning that 80 per cent of children arrived at school with poor co-ordination, due to a sedentary lifestyle.

Along with colleagues in the field of child development, I’d seen a rise in prescriptions for Ritalin, a drug for attention deficit and hyperactivity – a four-fold increase in less than a decade.

And we’d collected a mass of research showing links between excessive screen-time and obesity, sleep disorders, aggression, poor social skills, depression and academic under-achievement.

It’s little wonder, then, that the boom in iPads and smartphones has coincided with further deterioration in the physical and mental health of children of all ages.

Sadly, we’re seeing the rise of the ‘techno-tot’ for whom iPads have become the modern-day equivalent of a comfort blanket.

Recent research found 10 per cent of children under four are put to bed with a tablet computer to play with as they fall asleep.

One study of families owning them found a third of children under three had their own tablets. Baby shops even sell ‘apptivity seats’ into which a tablet can be slotted to keep toddlers entertained.

Few know that the late Apple boss Steve Jobs didn’t let his own children have iPads. I wish he had gone public on this as other parents might have followed suit.

Because the earlier children are hooked on screens, the more difficult it is to wean them off.

This is not the only worry. It’s not just what children get up to onscreen that affects their overall development. It’s what screens displace – all the activities they’re not doing in the real world.

Today’s children have far fewer opportunities for what I call ‘real play’. They are no longer learning through first-hand experiences how to be human and are much less likely to play or socialise outdoors or with others.

One of the most depressing examples of a totally screen-based childhood involved a ten-year-old in London. The overweight, pasty-faced little lad told me: ‘I sit in my room and I watch my telly and play on my computer . . . and if I get hungry I text down to my mum and she brings me up a pizza.’

The change in children’s play has happened in little more than a couple of decades. While many parents feel uneasy about all that screen-time, they haven’t tackled it as they’ve been so busy keeping up with changes in their own lives.

And anyway, it’s happening to children everywhere – so surely it can’t be bad for them?

But real play is a biological necessity. One psychologist told me it was ‘as vital for healthy development as food or sleep’.

If the neural pathways that control social and imaginative responses aren’t developed in early childhood, it’s difficult to revive them later. A whole generation could grow up without the mental ability to create their own fun, devise their own games and enjoy real friendships – all because of endless screen-time.

It’s getting out and about – running, climbing, making dens and so on – that allows little children to gain physical skills. Playing ‘let’s pretend’ is a creative process requiring lots of personal input.

Real play develops initiative, problem-solving skills and many other positive traits, such as a can-do attitude, perseverance and emotional resilience. It’s vital for social skills, too.

By playing together, youngsters learn to get along with other people. They discover how others’ minds work, developing empathy.

And, as real play is driven by an innate desire to understand how the world works, it provides the foundation for academic learning.

Real play is evolution’s way of helping children develop minds of their own – curious, problem- solving, adaptable, human minds.

The American Academy of Paediatrics recommends no screen-time for children under two and a maximum two hours a day there-after. This is not just due to a proven link between screen-time and attention disorders, but because it eliminates other activities essential for building healthy bodies and brains.

Babies are born with an intense desire to learn about their world, so they’re highly motivated to interact with people and objects around them – the beginning of real play.

That’s why they love it when we play silly games with them, such as peekaboo, or they manage to grasp some household object. This is what helps them develop physical co-ordination and social skills.

But when little ones can get instant rewards from high-tech devices, they don’t need to bother with real play.

Images on a screen can be just as fascinating as the real world, and even a very small child can learn to control the images with a clumsy swish of podgy fingers.

Each time babies or toddlers make something happen on screen, they get the same sort of pleasure hit as they would from a cuddle or a splash in the bath.

When they can get instant rewards by swiping a screen, why bother with play that demands physical, social and cognitive effort?

Neuroscientist Susan Greenfield says: ‘We cannot park our children in front of screens and expect them to develop a long attention span.’

She also worries about the effects of technology on literacy. ‘Learning to read helps children learn to put ideas into logical order,’ she says. ‘On the other hand, staring at a screen puts their brains into suspended animation.’

Dr Aric Sigman, who has amassed a huge database of research linking children’s screen-time to ADHD, autism and emotional and behavioural disorders, also points to the conflict between screen-based activity and reading.

‘Unlike screen images, words don’t move, make noises, sing or dance. Ultimately, screen images render the printed word simply boring at a crucial phase when the child’s mind is developing,’ he says.

Yet another problem with too much screen-gazing is that it doesn’t develop resilience.

Real play gives children opportunities to learn how to cope with challenges for themselves. Finding how to learn from their mistakes, picking themselves up when they take a tumble and sorting out squabbles with playmates all help develop the self-confidence that makes children more emotionally resilient.

This is vital for mental health, especially in our high-pressure world. So I wasn’t surprised when this month Childline warned Britain is producing deeply unhappy youngsters – sad, lonely, with low self-esteem and an increasing predilection to self-harm.

The charity painted a bleak portrait of our children’s emotional state, blaming their unhappiness on social networking and cyber-bullying.

It’s understandable parents feel unable to tackle their children’s social media use. After all, it has spread like a virus. In 2012, just six years after Facebook arrived here, it was the favourite website of ten-year-old girls.

That year I interviewed three 15-year-old girls in Yorkshire who have been on Facebook since the age of ten. They said they didn’t enjoy it as much as ‘when we were young’ because ‘running our own PR campaigns’ – as they wittily described the constant need to make their lives sound glamorous and exciting – was exhausting and they often felt miserable when others seemed to be having more fun.

But they couldn’t give up the social media site as it would put them out of the social loop. ‘There’s lots of cyber-bullying,’ one said. ‘So you’ve got to try to be like everyone else.’

But we can’t go on letting our children ‘be like everyone else’ when it’s damaging them. If the next generation is to grow up bright, balanced and healthy enough to use technology wisely, parents need to take action.

And that means limiting screen-time, spending time together as a family and making sure get children out to play.

Some say children need to use technology because that’s the way the world is going. But there’s no need to give little children high-tech devices.

Modern technology develops at a phenomenal rate – any IT skills that children learn before the age of seven will be long past their sell-by date by the time they reach their teens.

But self-confidence, emotional resilience, creative thinking, social skills and the capacity for focused thought will stand them in good stead whatever the future brings.

TABLET ADDITION WRECKED A CHRISTENING  

Rosie Corriette is one parent who gave in and bought her young daughter an iPad. Elizabeth, four, would use it to watch Peppa Pig videos on car journeys or while Rosie made important phone calls.

Then came a family christening. Rosie and the other parents invited to the ceremony at St George’s church in Ashstead, Surrey, tried to agree on the etiquette for technology in advance, worried their children would stare at screens all day.

They agreed a tablet amnesty. So days beforehand, Rosie reminded Elizabeth that she wouldn’t be able to take her iPad to church. Elizabeth was disappointed, but agreed to leave it in the car.

Rosie Corriette, left, 26, a writer from Carshalton, Surrey, with her daughter Elizabeth, four, right, had a christening ruined by the use of an iPad in church. Immediately lots of children clustered round noisily

At first, all was well. All of the children played quietly with crayons and building blocks at the back of the church.

‘They were enjoying colouring in, and then we saw it,’ says Rosie, 26, a writer from Carshalton, Surrey. One mother, it seems, had been unable to persuade her four-year-old to leave their tablet at home. Explaining that he was having ‘a tough time’, she had allowed her son to take along his iPad Mini.

The minute he pulled it out of its cover, the other children clustered round him, before loudly and insistently begging their parents for their own tablets.

The crayons and building blocks were cast aside and a sacred occasion was ruined by techno-tots.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3420064/Why-iPad-far-bigger-threat-children-realises-Ten-years-ago-psychologist-SUE-PALMER-predicted-toxic-effects-social-media-sees-worrying-new-danger.html#ixzz4OvusHdkg

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_OCCASIONALLY WALKING BAREFOOT

​SUNNAH:

A man from the companions of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) traveled to Fadalah ibn ‘Ubayd (radiyallahu ‘anhu) when he was in Egypt. 

After a brief conversation he asked him ‘Why do I not see any shoes on you?’

Fadalah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) replied: *Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) use to command us to go barefoot sometimes.*”

(Sunan Abi Dawud)

Mulla ‘Ali Al Qari (rahimahullah) cites  *three reasons* as to why Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) ordered us to walk barefoot occasionally :

*1. To create humility within a person*

*2. To break one’s ego*

*3. To become accustomed to it as sometimes a person will be forced to walk barefoot*

(Mirqat)

hadithanswers.com

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