I need help as i have been engaged in a drastic act.masturbation.its been like 5 years,i am 20 now but Alhamdulilah i have been controlling for the past 1 month,now my question is that i have heard from quite a number of people that this causes premature ejaculation and if am not wrong i experience it when i have Shahwat semen emerges so is that premature ejaculation. I have also heard that its a problem after marriage so please mufti Saheb i need your help is there any way it will stop and i don’t experience it letter in life after marriage if i stop this drastic act of masturbation once and for all?Please advice as am really stressed and just to let u know i still experience wet dreams. Maaf for asking such a question.but i really need ur help,will be waiting patiently for ur answer.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is natural for a youth to experience a biological change and the feeling to fulfil ones carnal desires. A youth may feel the force and demand of the carnal desires to be like a huge army. If he controls his passion and desires, he will be able to confront the various challenges of life with much ease and comfort as it is much easier to combat an external force than an internal one. Regard this phase of life as a training to strengthen yourself against the challenges of life. If you succeed in combatting your carnal desires, the rest is much easier.
Furthermore, if you curb your desires for the pleasure of Allah Taala and train yourself in worshipping Allah Taala, you would secure yourself a place under the throne of Allah Taala. Consider the following hadith,
سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللَّهُ فِي ظِلِّهِ، يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلُّهُ: ….شَابٌّ نَشَأَ فِي عِبَادَةِ رَبِّهِ،… وَرَجُلٌ طَلَبَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ ذَاتُ مَنْصِبٍ وَجَمَالٍ، فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أَخَافُ اللَّهَ، ..
There are seven people to whom Allah will grant shade on the day that there is no shade besides his shade…, a youth brought up in the worship of Allah,…. a person who is seduced by a woman of beauty and position,but he refuses and says:: I am afraid of Allah.. صحيح البخاري (1/ 133)
Hereunder are some tips how to overcome this evil and despicable habit,
Stay away from all such avenues that spurs ones carnal desires,Protect yourself from the evil glances upon non-mahram women,You should not access the internet unless there is a genuine need for it. If you access immoral websites, you are bound to fall into sins. Try to keep your computer or any other such devices in a place where everyone can see what you are doing. Switch off the devices when you have the urge to commit sins,Keep yourself occupied at all times. Keep a tasbeeh in your pocket and whenever you have time and you are not really doing anything, take out your tasbeeh and make dhikr. Do not to remain alone or idle. An idle mind is a devils workshop,Frequent the Masajid and the company of pious people. Identify a spiritual guide and benefit from his spirituality, A practical thing one can do to stop this habit and any other bad habit is that one may make a promise to Allah Ta’āla that one will not commit the sin, and for each time the sin is committed, he/she will give a certain amount of money in charity or to the local Masjid. However, the amount should be realistic and reasonable,Imagine the disgrace and shame that will overcome you if your parents or teacher comes to know of the filthy act that you have done. Where would you hide your face if the entire public comes to know of the sin that you are involved in?Continuously make dua and tawbah to Allah Ta’āla to help you abstain from such sins. If your tawbah is sincere, Allah Ta’āla will grant you the ability to refrain from sins. Always keep trying. Never give way to the subtle whisperings of shaytaan. At first, refraining from sins might be extremely difficult but after constant struggle and punishing of thenafs, the nafs will finally become tamed and you will feel pleasure in refraining from sins. Allah Ta’āla will indeed help the person who strives to become closer to Him,Before you sleep every night, think about death and how you will be buried in the grave with no-one to assist you and help you. ImagineGhusl (pre-burial bathing)being done to you, you will then be enshrouded with the Kafn, people will be crying, the Janaza Salaah will be performed and then your body will be carried to the graveyard and then you will be buried in the depths of the ground. Who will be there to assist you on that day? Every day, take out some time before you go to sleep and think about death. Insha’Allah, this will remove the ghaflat(heedlessness) from your nafs,If you are unmarried, try to get married as soon as you can. If you are incapable of maintaining a wife, then you should must fast abundantly. Fasting is a means of curbing his desires.
The discharge you are experiencing is mazi (pre-coital fluid).That is the fluid released when one is aroused. Premature ejaculation is when one has intercourse, he cannot contain himself and ejaculates before intercourse. This lead to frustration as he is not able to fulfil himself. It will also lead to frustration to his wife as she too will not be fulfilled. One of the causes of premature ejaculation is masturbation. Make tauba and preserve your strength to fulfil it in the correct way.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai